Plug and Play Consoles/Transcript
Video Here ---------------------------------------------------------------\/ {we begin with stock photos of shops or people shopping} Jon (VO): Black Friday approaches, and that means one thing: Grandma's out getting trampled just to get you the same old gift: crappy video games. Jon (VO): "Oh, you got me Monopoly this year for the Nintendo 64?" {footage of that game appears} Well, this would have been great back in 1864! Y'know, when it was impressive just to not die from being 35! Jon (VO): We all got games like this. You know the ones: bottom of the bin. I mean literally bottom of the bin at the grocery store. But in this category, one genre reigns supreme: the plug and play games. Jon: You know, one of these. {presents a NAMCO plug and play controller} '' '''Jon (VO):' Why buy your loved ones a $50 SpongeBob game for their Wii in which you have to, you know, put the disk in and then figure out which cords plug in from the box machine into the TV, then you gotta switch it on, and who knows what else from there, when for $20 you can get the magical device that plugs right in to their TV, already has the game inside of it AND is also a toy of SpongeBob's face! {plays with the controller's nose/joystick} That's like, what, that's like 18 toys in one. Jon (VO): Now plug and play games have been around for decades but their true rise to popularity began in the early 2000s led by a company called 'Jakks Pacific'. Remember this was before downloadable content and virtual console re-releases were widespread. The most you'd see were those GBA ports of NES games. So at the time, it made sense. Of course, people were going to be like: "You're telling me there are 10 classic NAMCO video games in this one small box that looks like a tiny version of the bigger box it used to be in?!? Well, sign me and the rest of America up! We've got a couple of years before the housing crisis! Let's have some fun!" Jon (VO): So basically what started as an innocent way to port some classic video games in a novel way, spiraled into a massive business. I mean these things were everywhere. Look at the ones I have. {displays two NAMCO ones} Jon: These two are both classic NAMCO games. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Standard stuff. {presents a Spider-Man one} Jon: There's a lot of these in the Marvel Superhero series. This ones of Spider-Man I guess. {camera zooms in on the Spider-Man figure on it; he's staring directly at the joystick} Jon: Hey Spidey, think you could, you know, back off a bit? You know the saying, a watched man never plays. {presents a Spider-Man joystick} Jon: A lot of these are just a penis. This one is Spider-Man's penis. {presses a button on top} Bombs away. {A console resembling The Thing is shown} Jon: This one is Fantastic Four's...creepy Gollum penis. OK. Is this good? Is this bad? I'm sorry man, I've kinda have to do this! {A black Spider-Man controller appears; Jon takes note of his head placed on the joystick as if he were decapitated} Jon: Oh my goodness, that's a bit barbaric, isn't it? Poor bastard. {A controller based on Shrek appears} Jon: Weird! Gross! Ewww! This is the... that's the Shrek one. {Yet another Spider-Man one. This one also has a figure of the titular hero, only he's on the bottom of the controller pointing downward} Jon: This one is my personal favourite. Spider-Man points at your dick while you play. You can't make that up. That's really how they designed this. What the hell were they thinking? {A controller based on the game show Deal or No Deal appears} Jon: Deal or No Deal? No deal! {Finally, a Scooby-Doo controller is presented. Scooby is hanging onto the back of the Mystery Machine. Jon assumes Scooby is humping it} Jon: Scooby's really, uh, going to town on the back of the Mystery Machine here. {Fred, who's driving, has a shocked expression, due to a spirit appearing from the top} Jon: And Fred's like "Scoob, no! It's a kids show! Don't!" {Footage from the games are shown} Jon (VO): I mean, to be honest, most of the games aren't horrible. The Scooby-Doo one's pretty appealing. The graphics are nice. Even the Marvel ones aren't bad. They're basically side scrolling beat-em-ups. Although I assume anyone would get tired of these before long. But don't get me wrong. There are the bad ones. {cut to a Spider-Man game where the hero is hunting for lizards} Jon (VO): Like the one where you plunder a sewer for a lizard. Forever. And ever... Oh, there he is! Wonderful. {cut to a Shrek golfing game} Jon (VO): Shrek golf! I asked for this? {cut to an image of Sonic showed alongside a backpack featuring the character, with the names OBAMA and Harry Potter written on it} Jon (VO): But of course, as to be expected, any good fad comes with its fair share of bootlegs. Jon (VO): I mean, why don't you go and ask our good friend Robert Cop over here. {a Robocop action figure that has "Robert Cop 2" printed on the box appears} Jon (VO): Oh, and of course don't forget everyone's favourite crime-fighting alliance: Sense of Right. {the pack appears. Characters from left to right are: a miscoloured Lightning McQueen, the yellow Power Ranger, Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, and Shrek} Jon (VO): Everyone's here: Batman, Superman...Shrek... a car...?? Oh, no. Jon (VO): What I'm saying is: it didn't take long for counterfeiters to hop on the plug and play gravy train. Game Fillip {closed curtains appear and a drumroll builds} '' '''Jon (VO):' Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you...are you sitting? {the curtains open, revealing Jon holding the Game Filip box} Jon (VO): Game Filip! {the camera zooms in to the child on the box. He appears to have no neck} Jon (VO): Perfect for children with no necks. Jon: {mimicking the child} "Finally, a game system for me!" Jon (VO): {reading the box} Digital Stereo Sound, High-Tech Controller, Dazzling 3D Graphics and Spectacular colour! And to top it off: 88 games in 1. What can I say? I'm sold! {He then notices something} Jon (VO): Wait, hold on. 8-bit game? I thought you said it was dazzling 3D graphics! Filip, make up your goddamn mind! This thing has the audacity to promote, as a selling point, that it comes with AV cables. Yeah, don't even get me started on the previous version. {Jon walks over to a wooden box on a shelf labeled "OLD GAME FILLIP" in black marker. He opens it to reveal that it contains crayons, cigarettes, a cassette tape that's labeled "BOOTY JAMS", and a dead fish} Jon: {unconfident} I can make this work. {cut to the game list} Jon (VO): Alright, enough about the box. Let's talk about what's actually on this thing. Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six Jon (VO): OK, "Spider-Man". I know that. This ought to be good. {Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six appears} Jon (VO): Oh. It actually is kinda good. But it's just a port of the NES title. In fact, this whole thing is just NES ports with mistranslated titles. Musashi no Ken – Tadaima Shugyō Chū (634 Ken) Jon (VO): "634 Ken"? Eh, never heard of that one. {Musashi no Ken – Tadaima Shugyō Chū appears} Jon (VO): Ooh, that's a-- this is a REAL winner. {the screen zooms in on the game's protagonist slashing his katana wildly as a distorted noise blares} Xiao Ma Li (Small Mario) Jon (VO): "Small Mario"? {Xiao Ma Li pops up instead} Jon (VO): Hey, they were right. That's the smallest Mario I've ever seen. He's so small you can't fucking see him! Jon (VO): Yeah, but these are just ports. I'm looking for something I've never seen before. When are we gonna get to the good stuff?! Power Kracker 2014 {cut to Jon holding up the Power Kracker box} Jon (VO): Maybe I'll find something in the, uh.....Power Kracker. Which, according to the game box is the {faux-superhero voice} "greatest game machine in the planet". {normal voice} Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get it outta there! Start digging! Jon (VO): This one claims to have 76,000 games on it. Damn, if that's true, I'll be playing this for my entire life! {cut to the game list. There are indeed 76,000 games on it} Jon (VO): {stunned} Oh my god. There really are 76,000. I guess I'll order some takeout. Circus Charlie (Toy Story) Jon (VO): "Toy Story"? Eh, I wonder what this one is like? {the title screen for Circus Charlie appears} Jon (VO): "Circus Charlie", huh? Yeah, I don't remember that from the movie. Jon (VO): Again, these are just a bunch of mislabeled titles from the NES. I mean, there's not a single original game in here. What kind of human being does this? I mean, why'd they stop at 76,000? Why didn't they just say a million games, a billion, infinity!? The sky's the limit when you don't give a shit! Mario Bros. (Mr. Mary A.K.A. Super Mario) Jon (VO): Well, I mean why don't we just try Super Mario. I mean, at least I know what I'm getting in to. {title screen for Mr. Mary, a Mario Bros. arcade port hack, appears} Jon: I have several questions..... Jon (VO): Mad? Who, me? No, I'm not mad. I mean, who's mad? How could I be mad when I bought a video game console that has "Circus Charlie" under 5000 fuckin' different names?! I'm fine! Jon: {takes out a hammer} 'Krack' this!! {he kicks the controller twice, then uses the hammer to finish it off, breaking it to pieces} The Pro Games Player {the camera pans across the plug and play controllers} Jon (VO): Okay, this is it. I think this may be my final chance to find a game machine that no one has ever seen before. Luckily for us, I think I saved the best for last. {he takes out the Pro Games Player box} Jon (VO): The Pro Games Player! You a Games Player? You wanna be a Pro? Jon: Then you're gonna need this, sucka! {takes out the controller and equipped gun. He gets the cords tangled up for a few seconds before he disconnects them. He then flips the box to see its back} Jon (VO): It's got 51 games in one and they all look original, so I'm pretty excited to see what this has got to offer. Jon: Let's load it up and see something life-changing. {inserts the cartridge in the controller. When the screen boots up, the game list stills features NES ports} Jon (VO): What!? No no no no no! It-it-it no, it can't be just NES games again! The back of the box said it had original games! Jon: GODDAMNIT!!! {he throws the controller to the floor in frustration, allowing the cartridge to fly out. This, in turn, causes the screen to switch to the actual game list} Jon (VO): {confused} What!? {looks at the controller, then back at the screen} Jon (VO): Well, there they are. Jon: {removes a pair of glasses} WHY!? Jon (VO): Wait, wait, wait, y-y-you're telling me I have to take out the cartridge….to play the games? I think I'm supposed to be upset right now, but more or less I think I've just gone fully numb. Hitting Mices Jon (VO): Well, we gotta start this off the right way, so of course, I'm gonna pick "Hitting Mices". You know this one really stood out to me, and I think they wanted it to, mainly 'cause they printed it twice on the back of the box! {the two images are highlighted, a ding plays} {zooms in on the gorilla} Jon (VO): Oh, complete with nightmare! Jon (VO): "Hi-hitting Mices"!? Mices. What, "mice" wasn't good enough for you? You wanna hit more?! You wanna pluralize the plural so you can hit more? You're a monster! Jon (VO): In this game, you play as a cave gorilla throwing what seem to be...what is that, bean bags....at mice who are climbing up your wall. Now, you gotta hit those mices, but you wanna cushion the blow. You don't want 'em to die in one hit. You want to stop the mice before they curl up in these burrows. Also, it's got this power-up that makes you move faster and is impossible to play without. But that's basically it gameplay wise. There's nothing else to this game. Alright, next. Exist {title screen for Exist appears} Jon (VO): "Exist"? Yeah, I've been tryin'. Jon: A good game poses a philosophical question. A masterpiece does it right in the title. Jon (VO): Look at that copyright year. 200518784. Man, it's gonna be a while until fair use kicks in on this one. No modding! {cut to the game} Jon (VO): Ah, it's a fish game. {sarcastic} Yeah, definitely got that from the title. Jon (VO): This is basically just "Feeding Frenzy" except it's got this eight-second loop of music that's driving me crazy! {the music plays} Jon (VO): Now, I'm not exaggerating here! I timed it, it's eight-seconds long. Come to think of it, this music's probably enjoyable for one kind of guy: a fish with a six-second memory span! {canned laughter} Jon (VO): You know, I got a philosophical question myself: why am I still playing this? Cute Fish Jon (VO): Alright, what's next? Uh, let's boot up "Cute Fish". {the title screen appears. The camera zooms into the rather detailed and angry looking fish} Jon (VO): OH GOD!!! '"Cute Fish"? Where is he? ''{zooms into the fish again} You mean this guy? I don't think you mean (hand pointing to the fish) this guy. '''Jon (VO): Alright, well. At least we're past that horrible title screen. {the screen shows six different characters to play as: a worm, a crab, a grasshopper, a beetle, a slice of cheese, and a strange caterpillar-like creature} Jon (VO): {confused} ''I see.....yes, I certainly do understand what is happening here. ''{he picks the cheese. He controls the cheese to "swim", but it hovers over the water instead} Jon (VO): Oh, oh, oh-ok-okay, yeah. "Cute Fish". Jon: I get it.....{raspy voice} I don't get it. Jon (VO): It's come to my attention that a lot of these games are, aquatic-themed? Corr Idor {cut to Corr Idor's title screen} Jon (VO): This one is called "Corr....Idor"? What a beautiful name she has. {quickly} Too bad she's gonna lose her pretty face soon 'cuz she's going headlong at the goddamn speed of light into a bunch of bullshit, HELP! {the fish crashes into an enemy} Jon (VO): And she's off! And by that, I mean she disintegrated. She's dead! M_Day Jon (VO): And this is "M_Day" with an underscore in the title because that makes sense! Denger Zone Jon (VO): Also, we have....{snickering} ''"Denger Zone". Oh, let me tell you about it! '''Jon (VO):' What was so appealing about the underwater genre that they had to make this many of them? Is it 'cause they were easier to program or was it just 'cause 90% of the backgrounds was just blue? Water Fire Jon (VO): Next game, "Water Fire". Jon (VO): Okay, yeah. Seeing a lot of the water. Not so sure about the fire. Jon (VO): I've been sitting here for like ten minutes and I genuinely can't figure out how this one works. I think you're supposed to shoot only one certain colour of barrel, green or red, but it doesn't matter which one you shoot. The guy on the right always wins. Why? For what reason? We cannot live in a world of chaos! Jon (VO): Also, in regular fashion the sound will cut out at will....{the sound cuts out}….and then come back....{it comes back}...and then cut back out...{cuts out} Jon: And just like that, it's gone like a-''{blows a kiss}''-like an angel's kiss! Xmas Gift (Gift Xmas) Jon (VO): Next up, "Xmas Gift". Oh, I just know that it's gonna feel like Christmas in here in a minute. {zooms in on Santa on the title screen} ''Bootleg Santa's on a watch! Looks like he's got a couple of them bootleg eyes up there. I wonder what he's seeing? I wonder if he 'can' see? '''Jon (VO):' Now, hang on a sec. Is this game called "Xmas Gift" or "Gift Xmas"? {referring to the scroll Santa's holding reading "GIFT X MAS"} ''Or Maybe the title is an equation. Gift times mass equals... '''Jon:' The theory of happiness? Jon (VO): Nah, scratch that. Some dumb idiot probably just don't get English. {gameplay footage; Jon narrates the scene Dickens style} Jon (VO): One Christmas night, evil cloud Santa had a plight. His temper was not mild, he threw gifts at every man, woman, and child. {normally} Uh, hold on, actually, at just one child! Jon (VO): Yeah, I'm talkin' shit like hamsters, bananas, lead screws that cause brain damage apparently. {character reacts strangely to screw falling in his grasp} ''I'm not sure what's happening here, but it can't be good. ''{the character catches a lightning bolt, turning him into a skeleton} Jon (VO): Oh my god! Uh…..{snaps fingers; sings} Uh, Merry Christmas!!! Jon (VO): You know, at first I was being harsh, but I've come to realize that this game is actually very well researched. It recreates the ancient German Christmastime tradition. Jon (VO): {in faux German accent} We go out in the snow with the frying pan and try to catch Sinterklaas's evil gifts from the sky! It is a great time for all kinder in Deutschland! Jon (VO): {normal} ''Okay, let's get outta here before Santa notices. I don't wanna get on this guy's bad list! Edacity Snakes '''Jon (VO):' Okay, moving on-''{stammers in disbelief}''-"Edacity Snakes"!? {shows the title screen and an image of a city} You talkin' about 'dacity or this city? Jon (VO): {referring to the snake head on-screen} ''That's just the snake from ''The Jungle Book, that's Kaa! They used the same exact snake except this time, it looks like he peed on the rug and got in trouble for it. Bad snake! Bad!! You're copyrighted! Jon: I really need to know what's in this game. {the game is revealed to be exactly like Snake} Jon (VO): It's fucking...it's fucking "Snake". It's fucking shitty-''FUCKING SHITTY ASS "SNAKE"!'' {off-screen, he attempts to leave, but stops himself} No, no, You know wh-You know what, I am not leaving until somebody tells me where "edacity" fits into all this. I'll just move on to the next game. I need to get through this before I get a goddamn coronary! Pop Monster {title screen for Pop Monster appears. The camera zooms in to the monster character standing there} Jon: I'm goin'! I'm goin'! Jon (VO): "Pop Monster" is 'Jump To The Next Platform: The Game'. Maybe, you don't uh, need to jump, you have your choice of not one, but three spiral staircases back there. You don't gotta risk it. It's just this. Over....and over....and the music is just this. {the fast paced 8-bit music plays} Jon (VO): OVER...AND OVER....AND OVER....''NEXT!!'' Trooper Jon (VO): This one's called "Trooper" and....{the title screen starts glitching} ''Oh, I think the only trooper I see is the title screen. Hang in, buddy! We're sending backup! '''Jon (VO):' In this game, everyone is falling to Earth and it's your job to...murder 'em all. Press Y to blink around like a wizard. Am I breaking it? Is this breaking it? Please, God let this be breaking it! Jon (VO): This type of game seems to be coming up frequently as well, these "Space Invaders" clones. It's not really a shmup because you're not goin' anywhere and things are just kinda falling at you. Robot Jon (VO): We got "Robot". Literally the same as "Trooper". Archer Jon (VO): "Archer". You play as a man who throws arrows with his bare hands. I believe we may be missing one of the two major ingredients in archery here. Perhaps this is how archery got started. Up there with "Exist" getting a bit of philosophy in here! Aether Fighter Jon (VO): "Aether Fighter". Just another version of "Trooper" except this time you shoot pineapples. Final Man Jon (VO): And "Final Man". That's epic. He's the last one...…except he isn't. 'Cause there's at least two or three other men over there. You're a liar! Wow, I'm getting fucking tired of this! Shooting Ballons Jon (VO): Oh, and, please. Don't let me forget about the star attraction here: "Shooting Ballons"! {title screen appears; both the "s" and "g" in "shooting" blend in with the background due to resembling balloons} Jon (VO): Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry, I got this wrong, actually this is "Hootin' Ballons". (Jon said balloons as balloos.) Santa Claus {title screen for Santa Claus appears} Jon (VO): Another Santa Claus game? {game starts; it is very similar to Xmas Gift} Jon (VO): Hey, this is the same game as "Xmas Gift", except this time, Santa's not evil, and the graphics are kinda better, I guess. Jon (VO): Hold on a second. Is "Xmas Gift" a bootleg of "Santa Claus"? A bootleg of a bootleg inside a bootleg system! What kind of Christopher Nolan Inception level shit is this?! {the character is hit by a screw, injuring her} Jon: I'm goin' deeper, Leo! {screen zooms in on her, as Inception music blares} Brave Boy Jon (VO): Okay, next, we got "Brave Boy". At least the title screen looks decent on this one, and hey, I'm a fan of adventure. Jon: {holds a Fire Emblem sword} I'm a brave boy! {gameplay begins; it can only be described as pure confusion} Jon: Not a brave enough boy for this! {throws sword away} {zooms in on a character giving a monster a bath} Jon (VO): What even is this? When a monster catches you in this game, you....give it a bath? Not that you'd even be expected to know that you're doin' that, because the panel only shows up for a split second when you get hit. And it's not even you in the picture! It's just some blue haired kid in his underwear and a cape. Jon (VO): Well, to elaborate, by this game's logic, you have to avoid giving things baths long enough to collect balls long enough to unlock this sword in the center that's encased in crystal. Jon (VO): {referring to the enemies} This little blue guy here can't catch you when you're in the houses or...tubes or whatever this is. But the big blue guy can catch you from literally anywhere. Even if the top of his head scrapes you when he's outside the building and you're inside the building, he gets you. Jon (VO): {voicing big blue monster} ''"I want a bath, motherfucker!" '''Jon (VO):' {trying to obtain the sword} Careful...yep, get it, got it! {victory screen appears, with a wildly different character model for the protagonist} ''Wow, that boy was so brave, he sent someone else to get the sword from him. Magical Kitchen '''Jon (VO):' (angry) "Magical Kitchen"! Jon (VO): SURPRISE, IT'S HELL ON EARTH! IT'S BOUNCING SUICIDAL FRUIT ON A SPATULA! NEXT!!! (NECKST.) Boxes World Jon (VO): Okay, this-this one, this one is just called "Boxes World". Look at this bear, look at this smug son of a bitch. He knows, he knows what he's doin'. He's like, "Yeah, it's a game called "Boxes World". What did you expect? Mary fucking Poppins? You've seen the rest of these?" Jon (VO): And to top it off, it's just a clone of another game on the Sega Genesis called "Shove It", where you slide boxes around. Yay. (YAY.) Jon (VO): Yeah, I think I remember seeing this one on my TI-83 calculator. Puzzle games Jon (VO): The vast majority of the games on this system are puzzle games, and most of them are terrible. There are memory games, stacking games, two of the games on here I would classify as lawn care games. Yeah, they would be "Radish Field" and {deep voice} "Lawn Purge"!! '''A.K.A., cutting the goddamned grass! Why would I want to play a game where all I'm doing is chores? Isn't that what games are supposed to help us avoid doing?! Especially when there are other such enticing titles on this console like "Stub Game", or as I like to call it, '''STACKING FUCKING CANS!! Germ Killer Jon (VO): Alright, come on, what's next?! I'm here for the ride at this point! I'm here 'till the fat lady sings!! Jon (VO): Alright, we got "Germ Killer". Yeah, well at least it means well. {he attempts to play it, but gets so confused by the game's broken nature, he reduced to tears} Jon (VO): I'm just so sad. I-I-I can't explain it. {bawls some more} Way Out Jon (VO): Next game. It's called "Way Out". This game better just be a loaded gun or a noose. You promised me this! {the protagonist goes in various directions not correct to what the signs say} Jon (VO): I really-I have no idea what's going on here, do you? She goes right when it points left, she goes left when it points right, There's no logic! There is no way out, is there? That's what you're trying to tell me, isn't it? I'm stuck here forever playing your barely functional games! Xtreme Robot Jon (VO): Okay, one of the only playable games in here is called "Xtreme Robot". Surprise though, it's just "Contra". I'm getting, uh... I'm getting a little worn out at this point! I think I gotta take a rest. How 'bout we book a room at the 'OOTOTOTEL' and have a nice na-na-na-na-nap?! (NaNaNaNaNAP) Jon (VO): The bosses are really weird, too. They're just, I don't even know what they are. What is that, a Roomba? A cardiac valve? Jon: {blows kisses} This is the best; the finest bootleg. Four star, best in the city! ZAGAT!! Boxing Werstle Jon (VO): Oh boy, I can't wait to see what's up next. We got "Boxing....{gasp}….''Werstle". I'm drawing the line at "Boxing Werstle", where they got Mike Tyson next to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Are they different games? Or are they just one big game? So they just, you know, combine the sports then? '''Jon:' {holds controller out} You can't make me! Jon (VO): {plays game} Help! Help me! I'm being held against my will. My address is '123 HELP'! Jon: This is the werstle game I've ever played. {his smile slowly fades into a frown} Jon (VO): NE-HE-HE-HE-XT!!!! Huarongdao {title screen for Huarongdao appears} Jon (VO): Oh, yeah? Oh, okay, I mean, that one looks pretty cool. I mean it's ancient Chinese warfare, how can we go wrong? Just please give me this one, just this one? {the game is revealed to be a low quality matching game} Jon: It's... It's-It's awful. IT'S ALL FUCKING AWFUL!! ALL OF IT, ALL OF IT, AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM SUCKS!! Rip-off games! Jon (VO): This whole thing is just filled with rip-offs! Police Skill (Hogan's Alley rip-off) Jon (VO): "Police Skill"….it's "Hogan's Alley". Guard Farm (Duck Hunt rip-off) Jon (VO): "Guard Farm"....it's "Duck Hunt". Desert Gunman (Wild Gunman rip-off) Jon (VO): "Desert Gunman" is "Wild Gunman". Diamond (Arkonaid rip-off) Jon (VO): "Diamond"'s "Arkanoid". Close Quarters (Top Gun rip-off) Jon (VO): "Close Quarters", "Top Gun". Horrible Area (Horrible Area rip-off) Jon (VO): "Horrible Area"-'YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!' Table Tennis (Pong rip-off) Jon (VO): "Table Tennis"? Fucking "Pong"!!! Star Jon: Alright.....one last game. Let's give it a shot. Jon (VO): "Star". The Final Frontier. The very last game on the system. Could this be the one to save them all? {in less than five seconds, Jon dies due to the incompetent nature of the game. He shakes in a rage when suddenly a beam of light appears from above and abducts Jon. He is taken to outer space, where he encounters Bootleg Michael Jackson} BMJ: You did it, Jon! Jon: Bootleg Michael Jackson!? BMJ: You made it, you're one with the Casmas! Jon: No, no this can't be. BMJ: You played 'em all, Jon. Now you can become a bootleg master yourself! {begins casting magic} Jon: No no no, don't use your magic on me! {the screen flashes white} BMJ: OOOH!! {episode ends} Category:Transcripts